SUCCESS STORIES & TESTIMONIAL LETTERS

Dear Barbara Sher,

I met you several weeks ago at DeAnza College. I thanked you for helping me become a dancer in my 40's, and you asked me to send you my story. Here it is.

I have held mostly clerical jobs most of my life. I have always known I was smart and could probably do anything, but never could figure out what that might be. Several years ago I mustered the courage to go to graduate school in sociology. I got A's but was miserable and finally dropped out after 3 years. I went back to word processing, feeling more dissatisfied than ever. I read several "do-what-you-love" type books, but they didn't help at all because I couldn't figure out what I loved except dancing, which was of course out of the question because I was too old.

I had been too old my whole life. I wanted to be a ballerina when I was 5, but my parents didn't let me take lessons for financial and other reasons. By the time I was 9, I believed it was too late, because I had heard that ballerinas had to start their training very young. When I was 18, I met some dancers who had started at 9 or 10, and I realized I had been wrong.. But I knew 18 was too old. When I was 25, I met a dancer who had started in college. I wished I had started in college; but now I was too old. And so on. I was always too old. I even signed up for a ballet class in my late 20's. When I didn't catch on right away, I chalked it up to my age and dropped out. In graduate school I started folk dancing. This was wonderful, and it didn't require years of training. But the fact that I liked it and was good at it only increased my resentment about the great ballet career I never had.

So whenever I would get depressed by my work situation, I would start feeling sorry for myself that I never got ballet lessons and that now it was too late. I put lots of energy into trying to think of other types of work that would make me happy, but I always drew a blank. I knew I had to "get over" this ballet idea and move on, but I was stuck regarding what to move on to. I thought about teaching folk dancing or ballroom dancing, but I didn't want to teach.

I think I was 40 when I read your book, I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was. (The title told me I had finally found help.) In my word processing job, I had become somewhat interested in computers. My partner had offered to help me go back to school in computer science, but after my graduate school fiasco, I was reluctant to plunge in again. I couldn't bear to try something new and be disappointed again. I was commuting by train to my job in San Francisco, about 50 minutes each way. I spent my commute reading your book and writing and reflecting. I had "aha's" in almost every chapter. Your assertion that I probably already knew, secretly, what I wanted to do made me realize I would have to deal with this dancing thing. I had always thought that if I were somehow miraculously to become a dancer, it would require dropping everything, risking everything, and plunging in. I wasn't about to do that, since I expected zero chance of success! But you urged a would-be writer to write a little before or after work, not to quit his job to write the Great American Novel. I don't remember the exact process, but in working through the book, I began to formulate a plan.

I would go back to school for one year and take computer classes — and dance classes "on the side". So I did. The computer classes were lots of fun, and the dance classes were life saving. I started with jazz and modern dance, then began studying ballet. I found that, as I had suspected, I seemed to have some talent. At first, this only increased my pain as I realized that maybe I really could have been a ballerina. I was grieving the life I never had. I had never felt so much pleasure and so much anguish over the same thing. But as time goes on, the pain has become much less and the joy of dancing has filled my life. This is a miracle!

Now I am 43, and I have been dancing for 2 years. I call myself a dancer because that's who I am, even though I don't do it for a living. The amazing thing is that I don't mind not doing it for a living. The fact that I am finally actually dancing has broken the bitter spell and freed me to enjoy my new field, computer network administration.

My plan was to hedge my bets — study computers and dance, and hope one or the other would work out. Instead, I have both !!

Thank you for inviting me to tell my story. And a ***million*** thanks for writing that wonderful yellow book which changed my life!

Best regards,

K.M.

W.B. from Washington 10/98

Barbara Sher

I hope you never get tired of hearing stories about people whose lives have been changed by your book Wishcraft, because here's another such.

In 1984 someone gave me a copy of your book (I forget who it was). I read it and did the exercise and was very excited by the whole process.

A couple of weeks later I was going to my bank and saw on the wall a poster for a local amateur orchestra concert. The ticket price was only $6, but at the time I was in extremely bad shape financially and couldn't even afford that low price. So I called the number and asked if there was anything I could do for them as a volunteer to earn a free ticket. They offered to let me be an usher. which I accepted, and got to hear a very nice concert for free.

Now you need to know that I was at one time a student at Juilliard back east, a composition major, but had never had an orchestral piece of mine performed, although 18 years had gone by since leaving there. I had a vague dream of someday having an orchestral piece performed, but had not done anything concrete about it. Had I not read your book, it would never have occured to me to try to get a free ticket by ushering, or to turn an ushering job into a dream, but I did.

Within 18 months I was general manager of that orchestra. By the time I had resigned eight years later, they had performed three full-length orchestral pieces which I composed for them, and that in turn led to many other opportunities. All thanks to exercising a little "Wishcraft." You cannot possibly have any idea how thankful I am that somebody gave me your book, and that I read it and did the exercises. I know it's a cliche, but it's true: you literally changed my life.

Thank you more than you can know,

Sincerely,

W.B.

 

L.B., the Artist in AZ

Hello Barbara

I think you're going to enjoy this letter.

I've just completed my 3 months of a "practice dream" and here's what happened.

"Goal//my Art will be in museums and galleries throughout the country....big art success"

*Someone heard about my pursuit and gave me 5K for this goal — it was a friend of a friend.

* I entered the 2nd biggest show in the country at the L.A. ArtExpo and was voted 2nd best new artist.

*At this show a Japanese dealer bought 18 pieces of my Art — I'm now showing in Japan...

*From the show, months later someone bought a piece for $2600 — nice start..

*Someone offered me 30-40K for my career — as a partnership

* A piece of art was bought for Sedona, AZ permanent town collection

* A new friend gave me 10K for my career.

* I'm showing in Vail, CO and Los Angeles, CA and Scottsdale AZ and some individual pieces are priced at 5K.

Now for the Real Life dream I was going for: It was Organic Farming.

Thanks! L.B.

 

Date: 6/3/99

Regards,

"Your book was the most valuable book I ever read. I became a professor in Mexico and lived a beautiful life for 2 1/2 years as a result of a Success Team."

G. S., MD

 

Arsinoe Goes To Rome

Barbara,

I picked up my first copy of "Wishcraft" shortly after it was published. I was looking for something to read on the beach, and your book was the most promising of the choices on the drugstore rack. At the time I was a full-time caseworker in Child Protective Services in the South Bronx. My dream was to become an art historian, but from my family background that seemed as unlikely as saying "I want to go to Hollywood and become a movie star."

It was a difficult time, too--family illness, and the death of two friends left me depressed. I was attending graduate school part-time, but funds were very tight. One simple idea in that book hit a responsive chord. I realized that I could be an art historian by doing the things that art historians do. It was a new thought to me.

Starting the very next day I began to write reviews of exhibitions, organize shows, and give gallery talks at the local museum. At first I did all of this without any pay, just for the experience. Eventually I got my first university teaching job.

In 1987 I began to think that I would like to live in Rome and open an art gallery there. Of course I didn't know anything about how to do this. So I started an online "Wishcraft" group on the old SOURCE network. Two years later, with the help of a lot of friends, I moved to Rome and started a small, non-profit exhibition space not far from the Spanish Steps. Another biggest bonus of that first online Success Team was that I met my life companion, who followed me to Rome.

The years in Rome were the best in my life. It is hard to imagine anyone being as happy—doing work that I loved, and in a supportive relationship. There were hard times, too—the worst was when my companion, David, died. Three years ago, I returned to the States, largely because of family reasons. Now I am the Director of an art gallery at a major university. This period, too, has been deeply satisfying, because I am doing work that I love.The next step, I think, will be to have my OWN gallery. This will be a big step, but autonomy and risk-taking are important to me right now. When I can, I would also like to buy a small pied-a-terre in Rome, the city that captured my heart.

Thanks, again, for the help and support that you have given over the years.

Arsinoe

 

Basics I In the Press I Buddy System

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